LOST IN SPACE-The Space Vikings: How I Learned to Relax and Enjoy... plus the 1990s review (scathing)

How I Learned to Stop Fretting and Love The Space Vikings


I guess time and place do matter when it comes to how one enjoys TV and movies and perhaps, even books. Without fretting over how LIS was not as good as its own premise or how it changed over a short period of time, I continued on through my viewing of the blu rays. I must say Mutiny In Space now holds the record for worst episode and has been lowered by the lowest of the low previously, the Space Vikings.

I actually took it on its own level and enjoyed it. Harris gives one of his best performances and indeed, ALL of Smith's tactics and sayings are in this one 53 minute episode. If you don't like this episode (and for a long time, I didn't), I understand believe me but you will probably never appreciate Dr. Smith then. Okay, I've said it before and I'll say it again, having Smith act silly and camp is fine but having the aliens AND Smith act silly is just a bit too much and I could have done without the TOO HO HO-ing...please. Other than that, there are some laugh out loud moments to this and the whole Smith/Robot/Will thing keeps this from being as bad as Mutiny In Space, where it just didn't work. I think part of my frustration with this episode is that Valhalla, Valkeryies, Niffelheim, elves, and Thor and Odin are such BIG ideas that to be handled in this fashion is a HUGE let down.

However, again, it's quite entertaining taken on its own right.

Smith proves he has some powers of intellect and cunning, making Thor a mess. He also, at one brief point, seems to be able to hypnotize Thor into a wide eyed comatose state! Bill has a red mark on his left nostril for half the episode..at least until he meets up with Thor and his "attack" on Thor is both funny and cute. The timing of some scenes is...strange. Will and Penny seem to take forever to get back the Jupiter 2 after leaving Smith and just before he throws the hammer, accidentally, at the Jupiter 2. Similarly, Will goes off from John, who tells him he will be right along. John seems to take a very long time to follow...just to see Thor take Will along. The plot makes more sense than both Questing Beast and Mutiny but who cares at his point, right?

Some of this is very funny. A lot seems worthy of the masters Abbott and Costello (the dried dragonfly moments and the music accompanying it; the squeezing water out of a stone gag, the walking away from Thor in a different direction, The Robot's reactions as he is covered in furs, and Harris' delivery).

I'm sure the whole Scat, Shoo, Scat-Shoo thing was done by Harris at least twice before, maybe more (not sure which episodes but maybe one of those with Athena/Lorelai).
All in all, Space Vikings will never be my favorite episode but it's certainly ---now--- not my least favorite. That mantle now goes to Mutiny In Space.



My original review from the 1990s: (Scathing):

THE SPACE VIKINGS-THE ultimate WORST and EMBARRASSING episode

WRITER-Margaret Brookman Hill--proving women have equality to write      just as bad scripts as men---but this is worse than any man      wrote for LOST IN SPACE !!!

DIR-Ezra Stone

 

NARRATION: Last week, as you recall, we left our space pioneers rehearsing a play, unaware that their harmless words were now summoning the ancient Norse gods from the void of space...

 

TEASER-not fully recapped, almost though--missing dialogue at the very opening of the scene as Smith talks; also missing is Penny's line about Smith writing all the speeches for himself; and later, Smith bragging why he should be Odin...

 

Will, Penny, and Smith rehearse a play. Penny stands on a rock and announces, "I am Freya,"  blah, blah, blah. Smith criticizes Penny's speech, spraining his neck, "Oh dear."  Penny talks of the spring, clouds, birds. Penny gets down, only having four lines is bothering her. She wants to be Odin. Smith tells her Odin is a male. Will says, "Yeah, I'm going to be Odin!"  Smith tells them to stop quibbling, "The play's the thing."  They start again but lightning and wind hit, along with blowing leaves. Will says, "We better get back to the Jupiter, Dr. Smith, that looks like a cosmic storm!"  Smith thinks, at first, it is a storm he wrote into the act. Will runs a bit, holding onto Penny's arm and dragging her, then laughs when he turns back to Smith, "Maybe Odin's trying to prove that you're all wet."  He laughs. Smith calls him a young upstart, telling them that he is more than a match for Odin and the other mythological gods. Will pulls Penny off, calling Smith to follow. Smith falls to his knees, thinking the "gods" were offended by what he said. He sees a pair of grey-silver gloves come tumbling out of the sky at him. Will turns back, and then pulls Penny by the arm (again) back. The gloves appear on Smith's hands and start pulling him apart--he claims. He can't take them off--he also claims. The gloves sizzle and crackle and spark! Smith is screaming. Will gets the gloves off by pulling them, Penny pulls Will from behind. Smith tells them the gloves came out of the sky but the pair of them didn't see that. Smith calls it the Wrath of the gods but can't recall which celebrated god used these gloves. Penny worries about Smith's sanity, "I don't want to wear any costumes that could cause a cosmic storm."  They don't think they should do any plays about myths any more. Penny started to say she thought Smith...then changed it to say...all three of them are taking this a bit too seriously. Smith is hurt that the two people who are his true friends in all the world would question his word. Will puts the gloves on and Smith screams. Will wonders if it was static electricity. Smith cons them to go back to camp. Will says, "You're not gonna fool around with those gloves, are you?"  NOTE: Doesn't he know better by now that is exactly what Smith is going to do!!!!?? Smith tells them to go. Will says, "C'mon Penny, he's in one of his moods."  Smith repeat, "Go."  Smith sees Nordic ruins on the gloves and wonders how those come to be here--the writing of the ancient Norse Vikings. Odin was just a myth, Smith considers if the gods came from...he puts the gloves on. Lightning occurs and a gold hammer comes out of the sky, spiraling at him. Smith screams, "Get away!" 

 

ACT ONE

Norse music. The hammer appears in Smith's hand. Smith asks it to guide him to the richest treasures in all of space and to take him back to Earth. Figuring it is useless, he throws it. It crashes between the Jupiter and a table outside. A blast knocks over the table, floors Penny and Will to the ground behind some rocks with lots of debris, and shakes the spaceship. John and Maureen are in the Control Room, shaking as the blast rises up in front of the window. They run out with Judy and Don to greet a running Will and Penny. Penny says, "Dr. Smith was attacked."  Will adds, "By gloves out of the sky!"  Smith gasps, "What have I done!"  He screams as the hammer reappears in his hand. Later, Maureen calls Will and Penny out for lunch. Don wonders if the blast wasn't some kind of caliber shell. John doesn't think there was any indication of an alien approach but they will check. Judy asks about Dr. Smith. Don figures he ran for his life when the Jupiter II started shaking but doesn't worry--Smith won't miss a meal. Smith comes back and sits to eat, asking what, "Earth tremor? What Earth tremor?"  He fakes that he wished he were here to help all hands in peril. Don says, "Why don't you just eat, Smith?"  Maureen asks about the gloves that Will and Penny mentioned. Smith bluffs his way out of it. John wants Smith to take the Robot and check out the perimeter of the Jupiter II. He takes lots of food for his dinner as the Robot holds the tray. After he leaves, Don and Maureen comment at least he left them a little. Section 6 of Perimeter Defense secure, Robot says. Smith is glad the Robot has his electronic synthesizer unit, a simulator for vital components. Robot tells this to Smith who says, "That's an exciting bit of news."  Smith threatens to pull the Robot's power pack out if he doesn't use it for the gloves, calling him a pusillanimous pinhead. Robot reproduces the gloves.

 

As Robot does, Smith says, "Every time I come upon a really wondrous device, some sneaky alien comes along and takes it away from me but this time, I shall be prepared." 

 

Smith takes the gloves out ("Oh joy, oh bliss") and hides them under a rock. He will soon have the greatest treasures of the entire universe and then have a triumphant return to Earth. NOTE: I cannot understand why he thinks this when he already tried to use the hammer and gloves to do both and failed. ALSO NOTE Smith's makeup looks a bit more nefarious again--sort of like he looked in the early episodes--the eyebrows are arched a bit more than usual. Will comes and asks questions. Smith lies. Will is told to search Smith's quarters for the gloves. Will goes, leaving Smith to say, "I dislike prying people."  He tells Robot if anyone asks, the hammer and gloves belong to the Robot, even though Robot claims a cybernetic servo mechanism does not wear gloves. Robot yells, "Danger! Danger!"  A black furry monster with long ears sticking up (not unlike the Bloop's ears) and a beard and moustache, comes out from some nearby rocks. It raises its arms but Smith screams and throws the hammer at it. It blows up and the hammer reappears in Smith's hands. Smith screams. Robot warns, "Warning! Warning! Alien approaching!"  A blond lady on a winged horse arrives, with a sparking spear, a helmet with wings, and armor on. She is singing Ta Hoo Ta Hoo!

 

NOTE: LOST IN SPACE has hit a new low, the lowest it will sink but beware of ROCKET TO EARTH, TREASURE OF THE LOST PLANET, and yes, THE GREAT VEGETABLE REBELLION. These are the worst of LOST IN SPACE yet to come. THE SPACE VIKINGS is hardly watchable.

 

ACT TWO      

Lady Brynhilda sees Smith passed out in the Robot's arms and thinks he is dead. Robot tells her negative--and as for Smith being a hero--double negative. Brynhilda can make dead heroes return to life again. Robot uses a method to return Smith to consciousness--calling, "It is time to eat."  Smith awakens. Brynhilda is a Valkeryie who has come for the hammer of Thor. This is the first time it has left Thor and she claims whoever possesses the hammer rules all. Robot claims it was he who found the legendary hammer, he who threw it towards the Jupiter II, and he who...Smith stops him, calling him a bumbling bag of bolts (and earlier a clumsy clod when Byrnhilda pushed the Robot into Smith). At first, she thought the Robot was a warrior under armor. Smith tells her it is "a mere mechanical structure--it does my bidding."  She thinks it was the Robot who found the hammer and gloves. She claims it will be decided in Valhalla. Singing she mounts her horse (a model of a horse which doesn't move!!!). Smith tries to get her to take him on a trip to Earth, taking the food into his hands, "Waste not want not, mother always told me."  Brynhilda makes the Robot appear on the horse's tail and Smith on the horse behind her. Smith seems reluctant to put his arms around her but does as she blasts off, mentioning the Icy Dragon Flats or flat lands or something of Niffelheim. Will sees them blast off and runs to John, calling, "Dad! Dr. Smith just disappeared on a flying horse! It's true! The horse had wings!"  Maureen and John are at the drill site, wondering what he is talking about. John says, "First it was Penny and what, her magic gloves out of the sky..."  Maureen tells John he really should have a talk with Dr. Smith--the man is subverting the kid's minds with this mythology business. John says he will but lets Will go back to find evidence to prove what he told them. Maureen says, "Oh John."  NOTE: Both parents, after seeing and encountering space admirals, space circuses, a green girl and man who breath in space, and other mishaps, can't believe in a flying horse!!!! It should be Will who doesn't believe them! WHAT IDIOTS! Obviously the same nonsense happened on VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA, where each member of the crew disbelieves other members and even their own eyes about ghosts, monsters, werewolves, etc when in the past they encountered underwater space spiders, mermen, phantoms, other werewolves, etc. Continuity should have been better maintained. "Okay, I can believe a flying horse."  "A ghost of an pirate who looks just like me? That's like when the phantom took over Lee."  But one of the only times this happened on LOST IN SPACE, was when John said, during the tepid THE MECHANICAL MEN, "From now on, I believe anything,"  and Don added, "I know what you mean."  Occasionally on VOYAGE, they didn't react startled, more toward the end of the show as in ATTACK and FLAMING ICE and even SAVAGE JUNGLE. Smith is in an ancient Viking skins or some kind of tunic, sitting at a long table eating meat with Brynhilda. Behind them is a stuffed polar bear. Byrnhilda chases away an old...and very small hound that tries to eat off Smith's meat from his hand. Byrnhilda sings and Smith tries to ToHo but breaks into a dry laugh. THIS IS EMBARRASSING. He eats some small delicacy and then asks her what it is. In the one truly funny moment of this crap, she answers, "Dried dragonflies," and the face on Smith, combined with the drop off type music just after a quiet moment, is funny. Smith throws it when she isn't looking. He mentions a trip to Earth. She knows of it--she was there a few thousand years ago (claiming "we" were there--presumably the other "gods" or aliens). "You wouldn't want to go there,"  she says. Smith mentions jewels; she mentions Trolls. Jewels are in Niffelheim but when Smith mentions he wants to go there, she tells him only fools venture there. She mentions Thor who is still about, charioteering across space. She is now aware Thor's hammer and gloves went to Smith, not the mechanical being. Thor must do battle with Smith. The cold breath of the frost giants blows outside the cave they are in (the doorway being the keyhole arch from A VISIT TO HADES) and the scream the frost giants make the scream used in THE TOYMAKER and which will be used for Uncle Angus (to better effect) in THE ASTRAL TRAVELER. Smith once more implores that he should leave for Earth. Byrnhilda must summon the warriors and sings. Thor arrives and sings. EMBARRASSING. Smith gathers meat and tells Robot to move it, "Proceed! Proceed!"  He and Robot go into a room of skins. Smith has one glove and it won't work for him, "Hammer come."  Robot says, "It was I who..."  Smith calls him a bubble headed booby. Robot says, "Nothing computers."  Byrnhilda laughs at Thor, mentioning Asgard and Yoggheim or some such thing. Thor looks for Smith and goes into the Guest Heroes Chamber. Robot is under skins. Smith hides by a stuffed tiger rug. We hear the nose wiggle music from THE GIRL FROM THE GREEN DIMENSION. Thor says, "I've got you under my skin,"  which is supposed to be funny, a pun on the song that was popular then. It is not funny and the song is no longer popular. Smith forgot his name for a moment but Thor tells him a name oughta roar like Thor. After Thor walks out, Smith chastities Robot, whose bubble moves up under the skins. Smith lets Thor go out of the cave first and then when Smith moves out, he tries to move the other way. Thor screams for him and he runs after Thor. Smith and Thor walk to a blue hold in the ground.

 

NOTE: If this is Valhalla, it sure is a dead ringer for the planet the Robinsons are on. It looks exactly the same. The blue mountains in the back, the same trees, etc. This is just one more failure of this episode to provide good entertainment. It is also cheap. It isn't even redressed to look like another planet or another dimension or anything. Better is the pit Smith is thrown in by Thor. Smith asks to be Thor's valet amid THE TIME TUNNEL-RENDEZVOUS WITH YESTERDAY goofy French boy music. From the blue hole comes smoke, a place Thor says is of darkness and cold filled with nyminohs, elves, trolls, dragon's dire. He pushes Smith, whom he calls Smitty, down the pit. Thor sings. Smith is in a cold cavern. Snow and ice are on the ground and there are icicles dripping down as well as ice rocks meeting them. Smoke blows on him. He falls on his face.

 

ACT THREE         

Snith hears laughing in the cold place he is in. Two elves with red hair, green caps, and golden tunics with green belts come to him (golden tunics are probably left over from THE DREAM MONSTER's two midget helpers), and repeat what he says, "Scat, shoo."  Smith screams. A blast of cold hits him and he passes out. Will finds the gloves under a rock and one that Smith dropped just before the immobile flying horse left. Will puts one glove on. Thor TaHos and sings but Will hides the gloves just before Thor blasts in on the horse. He shows Will the evil eye, thinking Will is an alien elf, the pointer and pinky fingers out. It is supposed to make Will disappear. Thor figures it will not work on an alien elf. Will, he thinks, is elf to Smitty. Will asks, "Dr. Smith? Where is he!?! What've you done to him!!"  Will puts the evil eye on Thor and looks proudly at his own fingers. Thor tells him Smitty is entertained by dear close friends of his. John, with a laser pistol belted around him, looks for Will. Thor will take Will to Smitty if Will gets his gloves. Will does. Telling Will that his own elves will take care of Will, Thor sees Will trip, "Whoopsey Daisy there little elf. Take one giant step."  John sees Thor singing on his horse, Will behind Thor, and the horse blasting away. Dad must feel real stupid. Will cascades down the chute to Smith and snow. Smith tells him that demons, ugly vile creatures, dragons, and great wealth are here. Elves return. Will says, "Scat, shoo."  They repeat him. A VISIT TO HADES music plays. The elves do a good job of imitating Will but the boy gets the upper hand when he waves the gloves at them in a circle, "GET OUTTA HERE!"  The elves run off; Smith says to Will, "I taught you well,"  having to always get the credit. When Smith asks Will if those were elves, Will says, "I'm sure."  Thor tells them, up above, that this proves Will has some human in him after all. He wants them to come up now. Will tells Thor that, "Dr. Smith doesn't believe in fisticuffs."   Smith repeats in dry tones, "Fisticuffs."  Thor asks, "Fisti...what?"  "Uh, cuffs,"  Smith repeats. Thor says, "I'm gonna slay you dead."  A dragon face from THE QUESTING BEAST come out of the corner of the set, ruining any ambience it had. It roars monstrously, not matching the visual. Smith and Will run, speeded up on film, as in a slapstick comedy and not a good one at that. They run up the shoot as it blows smoke from its mouth or nose. Awful.

 

ACT FOUR

Robot helps Smith practice sword fighting but tells Will he cannot continue--he programming refuses to allow him to do anything that might harm humans. Smith wears a cape and Viking helmet over his skins and usual outfit. Will is sitting on the table but goes out of the dave to Brynhilda. Robot tells Smith he must use what he is best at: cunning and chicanery. "Convince Thor he is helpless without the gloves and hammer,"  Robot suggests. Smith tells Robot to put away the sword, "An instrument of the devil."  Will tells Brynhilda she must stop the fight between Mister Thor and Dr. Smith. She wonders what Will is--dragon dire, elf, troll. Will says, "I'm a boy."  Bynhilda must do so much: she takes all the left over dead warriors and their parts--left over after the battle games---and puts them back together. Thor may want Will as a pet. Smith wears his own LOST IN SPACE outfit again. He asks for two rock like sponges from the Robot's synthesizer. Behind in the set is a ram's head. Smith fools Thor--he squeezes water out of the sponge and Thor thinks it is a rock, stupidly turning away so that gives Smith time to replace a sponge with a real, stone hard rock. When Thor tries to do it, he cannot squeeze water out. Smith squirts water in Thor's face. Thor at first, thinks Smith is going to be a bigger challenge than he first thought. Smith cons Thor some more and then challenges Thor to an arm wrestle but cons Thor even more: issuing up self doubt, insecurities, and repressions and other problems. Smith seems to be hypnotizing Thor. Will and Byrnhilda continue to talk in another area. Thor, she says, is going through a difficult phase--she knows his courage is not from the hammer and gloves and he knew it. She has to find challenges for him to keep him a sharp hero. He must be ready to fight the frost giants. She asks about boys. Will tells her they usually have to grow up to be men. She says, "Oh, what a pity."  From her memory, she recalls boys like to play and pretend. Just as a potentially good scene starts with some tenderness and warmth, Brynhilda screams out, "THEN WELCOME!"  At the same time, she hugs Will close to her. Thor is on a couch, his horned (VIKINGS DID NOT WEAR HORNS!!!! MAYBE THOR DID IN SHOWS LIKE THIS OR IN PAINTINGS BUT VIKINGS DID NOT!!) helmet off. Smith is telling him he is not a great warrior and it was all lies about him being one. He says he stems from his unhappy childhood. Thor cries, it must be but he didn't have any childhood. Smith cons him some more--if they fake that Thor beats Smith, Smith will only want some rich trinkets and  be sent home (Earth? The planet?). Smith tells Thor he is incapable of squashing a dragonfly, while putting one in Thor's mouth. Robot warns, "Warning! Warning! Alien approaching!"  A voice on a speaker calls that the giants of Gatroude, Veramir, Vothorn are attacking. The frost giants! Smith gasps, "Protect us!"  Byrnhilda comes in and to-hoes, ready to fight the giants. Will finds out what Smith has done to Thor. Smith lies, stating Thor has had some kind of seizure. Will says, "We'll all be killed!"  Smith gasps,  "GIANTS! The end is near!"  Will wonders exactly what Smith said to Thor and exactly what he's been saying to him. Thor tells Will. Will throws up his hands, "Now you've done it! You've really done it!"  Byrnhilda goes outside to battle but shakes back in--the frost giants do it. Smith and Will help Thor, who springs to Brynhilda's defense, try to ascertain which gloves are the real ones. Thor goes without the gloves. Will calls, "Dr. Smith--look!"  Giant sandaled feet pass the opening of the cave--the sandal ties go up the legs of the giants. Thor throws his hammer and there is a blast. Rocks fall. Smith falls but Will helps him, "You alright? He did it!"  Will tells Smith that Thor didn't even have the gloves on. The worst aliens in LOST IN SPACE and probably any non-Japanese oriented TV series, TaHo together. Will and Smith yell a song out too, "TaHoo, YaaaHooo,"  and hug each other. Later, Bynhilda tells Will that her homing horse is on a star phase. They are near the blue hole. The horse's name is Flightfear or something. Smith is in the cave, looking at the treasure in a chest that he wants. Smith yells, "Wait for me!"  There is a blast and Robot, Will, and Brynhilda vanish, leaving Smith. Smith says, "Oh dear,"  and goes back to his chest. Will calls Mom. Mom calls John in the control room and the rest of the family run outside the ship. The spiked plant that is usually outside the entrance appears to have moved across to the other side of the ramp. Maureen tells Will they were so worried. YEAH RIGHT. SAVE IT DOPEY. You didn't even believe the kids. Smith appears with the chest under him. When he realizes the chest is under him, he is ashamed at what he was thinking of those delightful creatures. Inside the chest are dried dragonflies. Smith says, "Oh the pain, the pain."  All laugh. I didn't. NOTE: Billy Mumy is wearing some kind of chain on his hip in this last scene.

 

CLIFFHANGER: Penny pitches to Smith up at bat while Will is the catcher, "Atta girl Penny, right down the old pike."  Robot is ump, Play ball."  Smith questions Robot's decision. Smith claims he is Joe Dimaggio, Ted Williams, and Babe Ruth all rolled into one. Will says, "Hah!"  Robot calls, "Strike"  to which Smith protests. Robot threatens to eject him from the game. Smith calls him a monstrous mechanized misguided moron. Robot says, "Out!"  Smith takes his ball, his glove, and his bat (HIS? WHAT DID HE DO--KEEP THEM IN HIS POCKET WHEN HE STOWED AWAY or did he make these while LOST IN SPACE--remember that is the premise--LOST IN SPACE) and will return to the spaceship. Will and Penny talk him into staying. Will asks Smith to show him the throw (the dippsy doodle) he taught Sandy Cofax (a pitcher of the one time-NEW YORK Dodgers baseball team and whom my mother actually saw play several times). Smith calls Robot an astigmatic automaton. Penny, Smith, and Will move the gloves and ball about among the three of them. Smith pitches, using the evil eye (left over from THOR?). He will use a trick Satchel Page taught him (Satchel Page was a black player who struggled up at the same time as Jackie Robinson and came up just after--Page played on the Cleveland Indians and was in his 40s by the time he came up). Smith drops the ball. He pitches. Penny hits it and runs. Smith moves back to catch the ball. Before he can, a sorcerer appears and catches the ball!

 

TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK, SAME TIME SAME CHANNEL-white lettering

 

REVIEW: PFFFTTT! YUCK! TOTAL GARBAGE! From the greatest myths ever told--a spawning of creation, destruction, rebirth, power, downfalls, plotting, and intricacies of plot and machinations...comes this garbage. The actor playing Thor was terrible as a Thor. He was a buffoon, not really menacing. Then Will chastises Smith for making Thor a baby child who can't really stick up for himself. Finally, I thought, Smith did something of value--defended himself against an enemy with his own means...and Will yells at him for it. Valhalla looked nothing like it should...it looked like another cave and the Robinson's planet. The only set that was okay was the ice pit but that was totally ruined by the silly elves and dumb looking dragon head sticking into the set. Maureen, John, Judy, and Don have less to do than usual...if that can be believed. Also--Mom and Dad are clueless about life in space...at least LOST IN SPACE life. "Oh come on, now, Will, a flying horse?"  "Gloves out of the sky, Penny, can't be!"  What dopes. Haven't they learned. The action was nill. The threat of the frost giants was the only interesting thing and it is so badly handled...Thor threw his hammer and did what? Knock all the giants down? Kill them all? Why didn't he do that before this? Perhaps I should stop about this episode---it is a total waste of time and not worth watching even once. Skip it if you can. Perhaps I am a bit too critical about this and other second season episodes but that is not because I hate the show but because I like the concept and characters so much, I hate to see it so mishandled and misguided with such bad scripts and bad direction. THE SPACE VIKINGS is the worst episode of LOST IN SPACE but that may have to be revised when watching the next piece of trash called ROCKET TO EARTH... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOST IN SPACE-FLIGHT INTO THE FUTURE 2015 review and the 1990s synopsis

LOST IN SPACE-season three-FLIGHT INTO THE FUTURE 2015 review and the 1990s synopsis


Just a few notes about FLIGHT INTO THE FUTURE, one of the best episodes of the entire series, despite the fact that if done, today, the threats could be amped up from lizard stock footage and mountain cougar stock footage to ...perhaps, scarier threats like an alien from ALIEN or a predator from PREDATOR, etc.
In any case, there were two flags outside the fake headquarters of the Space Archeology team. One is definitely the American flag...but the other? Could it be a Russian flag? This idea is interesting because...one of the supposed relatives is a Smith! And our Smith doesn't quickly dismiss that this can be! Did Smith have a wife? Did he ever have "relations" with a woman? Adopt? And if so, what country would his great great great grandson be from?
On another take, right after Will, the Robot, and Smith move off to find the Pod, Don and John are looking for them on the rock planet set/area. Suddenly, they both slightly react to a green light that goes on. Does this light represent the illusions in action? Or was it just a faulty light or bad timing?
In any case, while this episode is very, very good, if you examine it too closely, the individual scenes sort of fall apart. Such as: is the Pod an illusion to John and Don or to Will and Smith? Why did Judy fall down in that odd scene? Was using her form a drain on the machine and on the original image? Why did Don recite poetry in the very first line of the episode? Was it the machine doing that to him? Why, if so? Was the emerald a planet at all? How would getting Smith to take the Pod up make him go around forever and ever? Couldn't he just fly back down? Or would the illusions take over up there, too?
We actually get the same situation as in CAVE OF THE WIZARDS here with a fake, seemingly destroyed Jupiter 2 but the situations of the trio (Will, Smith, Robot) being in the future is interesting for a time. On the other hand, we get the second episode in a row where illusions plague the family and friends. We also get the Pod and the Jupiter looking ancient as the Chariot did in SPACE PRIMEVALS.
So eight episodes of the first season and all were fairlly striaght forward, non campy adventures...and then we come to the next epsode COLLISION OF PLANETS. I'm guessing unless there are unaired adventures or stuff in between the two episodes, that the planet that gets destroyed IS the planet from FLIGHT INTO THE FUTURE.

In addition, I have to commend Harris on the entire episode, for while much of it is Smith schtick, one short glance from him tells us Smith is multi layered and cares about Will. When Will first tells him, "It looks like our spaceship." Harris's facial expressions and body language show us that he's prepared for the worst and will try to either hide it from Will in a good way to protect him or help him get through it. He doesn't react, in that short moment, in the usual Smith manner but looks as if he's an adult protector worried for his young friend. Harris is very good throughout but excellent in that one short sequence.


My 1990s synopsis written around 1999:

FLIGHT INTO THE FUTURE

Writer: Peter Packer

Dir: Sobey Martin

 

TEASER

Travel music (used for Chariot in past episodes) as we see the Jupiter II flying through outer space. Don recites a poem, "Silently one by one in the infinite meadows of Heaven blossomed the lovely stars, the forget me nots of the angels."  Judy and Penny like it. Don tells John he never learned poetry in high school. John wonders if it was some kind of space rapture. Signals draw their attention to a giant green emerald smoking in space, hanging before the window. Don wants to give it a wide berth and hits the port side thrusters. It did leave him curious. John tells him they can't have any of that and to head back for it. He is kidding. A door in the back opens sideways, sliding. In the room there is a round window behind Smith but no wall. Dr. Smith comes out of it and goes to the Space Pod, the door of the Pod area opening upward. There is no window on the Space Pod Bay Door. Smith dismisses William since that one (the Robot) and he have business. Will and the Robot are almost finished checking out the airborne guidance system of the Pod, going through a checklist. Smith tells him not to worry--this Pod isn't going anywhere for a long, long time. Smith wants to get his rub down from the Robot who brags about his claws doing wonders for Smith's back. Smith tells him they are a disaster area on his back--only no one else is available. He calls the Robot an advocated amateur. Smith checks the airborne guidance system launcher by launching the Pod into space by mistake. Judy asks what happened as John calls Will. The Pod goes down out of the Jupiter II.      

 

7-6-5-4-3-2-1

 

NOTE: On one syndicated version of this episode the LOST IN SPACE theme ends but the black out dot returns to full screen with the LOST IN SPACE logo and the narrator (Dick Tufeld) says, "LOST IN SPACE!"

 

ACT ONE

We hear WILD ADVENTURE title music as the freeze frame of the control room of the Jupiter II is seen. Maureen arrives, "John, what is it?"  He tells her. In the Pod, Smith says, "Oh dear, oh dear."  Will says, "You could get us all killed."  They see the green emerald and the Pod doesn't have enough power to pull away from it. John's calls can't get through to them. Don gets the Pod on the scope but then the marking goes right off the scope. They wonder if it was centrifugal force but that should attract not repel. Don gives John tracking computations (001 point?) to find the Pod. The Pod heads at that emerald thing...which is either a planet or an asteroid. John tells the girls and Maureen to go below and strap in. Jupiter II flies but a force hits it. A correction puts them back on course but then the force has action and reaction, equal and opposite--the emerald seems to move against them. There are blasts and more shaking as they go into orbit. They are ten degrees off course. John tells Don to correct for 20. Don fires retros. They shake and hit some kind of atmospheric barrier that has stopped them cold, they are hovering, Don reports. John orders a full forward thrust for ten seconds. Don says, "I've got a feeling that someone down on that planet is letting us know that we're not welcome."  The landing gear is out. John tells him to prepare for emergency landing. The Jupiter crashes. The control room is shadowy and Don says something about a belly landing. They look outside and see rocks and mountains with some low brush but not much. The Pod signal beeps. They see it in their radar net about one half a mile. Will answers a call from dad but when John tells him he and Don will be coming from the direction of a large anvil shaped rock, Will tells him there aren't any rocks, just trees and jungle growth like a rainforest. Maureen asks, "A rainforest, within half a mile of here?"  They get interference on the radio and cannot raise Will again. They also cannot get a picture of the Pod's area on the large screen. John tells Maureen to keep radio channels open. He and Don leave.

 

The Pod radio is jammed. There is more jamming potential on this planet. Smith asks William to tell his father (John) that he (Smith) was in no way responsible for the Pod launching. Will hits the control to open the door but the door is jammed and won't open. The Robot asks Will's permission to use force. Will says, "Welllll....."  He tells him to go ahead. The Robot uses some kind of blast or ionic sound to open the door. A strong wind gusts it open beyond reach and blows in at them. They move out, Smith worrying it is a tornado and that they will be blown sky high. They go out to a dark forest and hear jungle sounds (DOCTOR DOLITTLE sound effects also used in many earlier FOX movies). The wind could have been made when the pressure within and without the Pod equalized. Smith looks around, "What an enchanting garden. A veritable paradise."  He wants the Robot to fetch a raincoat and galoshes from the Pod as they hear rain. Hear it but don't feel or see it. Smith hypothesizes that rain evaporates before it hits the ground. Will finds the leaves are not wet either. Robot detects it to be meteorological phenomena of alien origin. Smith begins to relate when he was in the Isle of the South Pacific...when they hear a large albatross shrieking but cannot see it flying. The Robot tells them it is non-existent. Smith tells Robot to fetch the Chariot when John and Don arrive. Fruit falls with a strange boing sound. Smith goes to eat one, seeing it to be a peach. One boings out of his hand and blows up. Will warned him. Smith wants to prove it was just one peach but as he moves to grab more, more fall off and blow up, then the whole tree seems to blow up each peach. Smith admits Will was right. Against the Robot's suggestions, Smith and Will lay down, both tired. Will asks Robot, "What could be harmful about falling asleep."

 

John and Don wonder about how the rocky terrain they are wandering in could lead to a rainforest. John hears something but Don scoffs in a kind way. A boulder falls at them off a higher ledge, John pulling Don back just in time. John thinks the boulder waited for

them to get just underneath it before it let go.

 

Daytime: Smith gets up and wakes William. Smith wonders where the Chariot is, it should have been here by now. Will wonders how it could have only been 15 minutes that they slept when it is daytime already. Smith tells him that daylight comes swiftly in tropical regions. They find the Robot in a state of near inertia with mildew on him and a form of mechanical rheumatism. He needs a rubdown with Dr. Smith's lotion. Smith protests, "Of all the impudence!"  Smith says, "Indeed, a man of my quality reduced to performing menial tasks, really!"  When Smith fetched the lotion, Will told the Robot that he thinks they were asleep longer than 15 minutes. Robot is squeaking as Smith rubs him down (and we hear QUESTING BEAST music).

 

Later, Will, Smith, and the Robot come out of the forest and enter a rocky area (that looks like the second season planet). Will stops him, "Dr. Smith."  Smith wonders what. Will says, "Well, can't you see it? It looks like our spaceship."  There is a shape that has moss, leaves, and dirt on it, like a mound, only in the shape of the Jupiter II front. Leaves blow around it. Smith tries to not to look worried and grabs Will's arm easily and the three move toward it.

 

ACT TWO

Will moves up the ramp. Smith thinks this is just some unknown wreck, not the Jupiter II. Will is sure it is. Robot fears the worst and regretfully reports that this is the Jupiter 2. Will goes in with Smith. They find the astrogater off its stand, webs, leaves, controls off from their places, wires off, the window shutters closed, a door half open, and the elevator inactive. They go to the ladder to check out the lower half when the Robot calls them outside (BLAST OFF music). They find a golden statue of the Robot on a golden stand. Smith calls him a bumbling birdbrain. Will reads it, "In Memoriam...erected to the memory of Earth's first ambulatory computer to traverse deep space...to the cybernetic hero of the Robinson expedition, gratefully dedicated in the year 2270 AD."  Will's eyes go wide as he realizes what he just read. He tells Smith they slept for 270 years. Smith asks Will if he has aged. He is the same as he always was. Smith calls the Robot a cybernetic simpleton. Will goes to the Jupiter II mass. Robot sings "I Am a Cybernetic Hero, famous all through space."  As he sits on the hulk of the wrecked Jupiter II, Will looks up, hearing sounds of Native American Indians charging. He sees them riding at him on horse back! (We hear THIEF FROM OUTER SPACE music). Suddenly they and the mountain they are riding down, vanish (from stock footage to the planet set). Will hears Smith, "William! William! Save me!"  Smith is running but turns to stop. Facing him is a giant one eyed cyclops monster with orange-brown hair and holding a boulder over Smith! Smith tries to talk him out of it but runs. He tells Will to run for his life, he means to destroy him. Will doesn't see anyone. Smith doesn't either now, "The end is near--I feel it. This planet is infested with terrible creatures."  He calls Robot an insensitive idiot, perhaps thinking about the family and Will's feelings about them possibly being dead. Will wants to find out what happened to his family and who built the Robot statue. Lightning bolts start and one blasts a tree. Robot tells them this storm may not be for real. Will tells him the lightning that hit that tree was for real. They take cover behind a huge rock. Two men in DESTINATION: MOON spacesuits (also used in THE TIME TUNNEL-ONE WAY TO THE MOON and one of these suits was like the one Space Enforcer Claudius wore in WEST OF MARS) come over to them. One, a Sergeant is to check them out with a small box like device. He wears a yellow space suit with helmet. He looks at the Robot, "This type went out at the end of the MILLENNIUM."  The commander, in red, is named Fletcher. He has a box that tells him who they are (with sound effects that were used in VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA-NO WAY BACK and LIS-KIDNAPPED IN SPACE). One of them has a hole in his space helmet for him to talk through (it won't work very well as a space safety helmet though once in a vacuum). Both astronauts wear a logo that will be used as part of the flight jackets in LAND OF THE GIANTS. This logo is also on the side of the Spindrift in that Irwin Allen show. One asks, "Storm, was there a storm?"  The storm stopped the moment the astronauts arrived. The men have ultra sensitive perception equipment--while Smith hopes they are a rescue team to take them back to Earth, they are really an archeological team--space historians who find all evidence of early space voyages and voyagers for the benefit of future voyagers. The Commander gets a beep. Not answering any questions, the two men leave.

 

John and Don walk in the dark at night. They find no jungle. There are rocks and more rocks. They go on. Night as Smith eats at a table near a cave. There are candles. Robot comments on the dinner, "...if it is a dinner." Smith is also drinking. There is a roast. He is eating it more but enjoying it less. Will doesn't trust the Commander or the Sergeant. He wonders why the pair didn't them to Headquarters. Another question is why weren't the men surprised that Will and Smith haven't aged after all these years. Smith calls the Robot a preening popajay. Will and Robot leave to find the HQ. Smith toasts himself at the table and the meal and all vanish. Smith runs for William, "Wait for me!"  Will and Robot go to a cave entrance where American flags are stuck outside. Will doubts himself now--perhaps they are for real. The Robot tells him, "Appearances can be deceptive, Will Robinson."  Will and the Robot go inside. Smith runs in and grabs Will as they hear strange sounds. Rocks seem to move and doors close. The sounds continue, with growls added to the mix. Will thinks it sounds like someone is moving things around but there is nothing to be moved. Smith says, "The walls are closing in on us."  They hear squawking. Will calls it spooky. Smith asks him where they are---and Will asks where who are. Smith looks around, "The spookies!"  It is just an expression but Will says, for once, "But let's get outta here."  As they talk, a figure, a familiar figure, walks down a rock step incline. It is a blond girl dressed in red and black outfit with leotards, tights, a short red cape, and strange hat piece. The girl, Judy in appearance, comes down holding a camera which she uses to snap a photograph of Will. Will rubs his eyes as Judy stands with her hands on her hips!!!

 

LOST IN SPACE logo with new theme.

 

ACT THREE        

Smith tells Judy she tormented her brother quite enough. "Will is not my brother, Dr. Smith, and I am not his sister!"  Judy tells them she is not Will's sister, "I'm not joking, Will."  Will's sister Judy was her great, great, great grandmother. Robot is skeptical but Smith dismisses it, calling him a cyber skeptic. Judy tells Will she is his niece five or six times removed. She takes him off to talk to him, feeling they have a lot in common. She will tell him lots of things. Robot tells Smith, "She may be Will's relative, on the other hand maybe she's not."  Robot tells Smith, "We have reason to doubt everything!"  Smith calls him a digital dunce. The Sergeant arrives and slaps Smith. Smith will have him summarily court martialed. This Sergeant is Hiratio Smith. Dr. Zachary Smith is his great, great, great, great grandfather! Smith mocks at first, "Am I in..."  then he realizes this. He gets sentimental and holds the man, happy to see a relative. Hiratio says he has lived under a shadow of Zachary because, "You--YES YOU,"  were the 5th columnist (a fifth columnist is defined as IN WARTIME, A CIVILIAN OR CIVILIANS WITHIN THE DEFENSE LINES WHO SECRETLY ASSIST THE ENEMY) in the Jupiter expedition, a master saboteur, a sly Machiavellian menace. Smith says, "How dare you!"  He asks the Robot if he heard these slanders. The Robot did but adds, "...and they are not slanders."  Horatio will beam a message to Earth from the mother ship. Smith must look the Supreme Court of the Space Judiciary in the face, face to face. In two hours, Will, Smith, and the Robot will rendezvous with the mother ship in the Space Pod--dawn and 0600. Horatio slaps him again and leaves. The meeting with the mother ship and return to Earth will be the first step in Smith clearing himself.

 

It seems like day at the real Jupiter II. Maureen cannot reach John. Judy's hair is short now. She tries to get a picture on the screen but loud static hits her and makes her fall. Maureen and Penny bend over her. For a moment, Judy sees them as if from a dream. She looks at Penny, "Will. Will, don't you know me?"  Penny says, "I'm Penny."  Maureen asks, "Don't you know us?"  Judy gets up and is all right but says, "It's funny but for a moment, I felt, as if, as if I were someone else."  Maureen says, "Oh dear, I wish your father would get back so we can off this planet."   Penny looks out the window with her, "So do I."   Smith tells the Robot to beware.

 

Night where the future Judy and Will are. She wants to take photos for the archeological team. She wonders how a world nearly 3 centuries in advance of Will's former world will effect him. Will tells her he is not going back. Judy or the future Judy says, "Don't be a little fool."  Will is asked by her to tell her about his sister Judy. Will tells her that it would be like telling her about herself. Sergeant checked out the old Jupiter II galley; the Commander the systems. He tells Will they know that his parents must have erected the Robot statue before they left. The team is ready to go back to Earth. The Sergeant calls the Robot an antique for the Space Museum. Will sees Judy and the Sergeant vanish. He looks at the Jupiter II mess. Later, he calls for Dr. Smith in the forest.

 

Don and John are still searching in a rocky barren area. Don thinks Will must have imagined the rainforest. John tells him, "No, he only imagines once he's home, not in an emergency."  So they keep looking for a rain forest.

 

In the rainforest, Will finds Dr. Smith and the Robot and they cannot find the Pod, Smith knows they left it in the spot they are now. Smith tells Will they must "gird"  their loins finding it. He has his reputation to protect. Will insists that there be no rendezvous. Smith follows Will into the forest. Smith asks him, "Have you taken leave of your senses, William?"  Smith must set the record straight. Robot mentions whoppers but Smith calls him an obsolete oaf. Smith falls in a bush. Will thinks they are seeing optical illusions and is not even sure the jungle is real, maybe they are not in a jungle at all. Robot agrees with Will. Smith calls him a deplorable dunderhead and tells him that his silly statue must then be an illusion. Will helps Smith find the Space Pod.

 

Don and John wander around past more and more rocks. Don comments that this is the longest half mile he's ever walked and that they have been in four different directions. John finds his radio still jammed. They walk some more. Don is frustrated, "We're going around in circles!" A high pitched sound hits them and lights that burn green. They are driven away but cover their ears. A boulder on a low ledge bursts into pieces. Don and John go to another area. They turn around and see the Space Pod...covered in vines, branches, and brush...looking hundreds of years old!

 

ACT FOUR

Start out with some new music which is a variation on the old. John checks the Pod inside and out. There are webs on it and the door is creaky, covered in many webs. The controls have not been used in years. The radio is still being jammed. John figures if Smith and Will were on their way to the spaceship, they would have seen them. John asks Don about the Pod, he answers that it looks like it's been left here a long time ago and rotted. John tells him that that is not true...they know it can't be true. He mentions it as a trick, an illusion. Don scoffs, "An illusion, that?"  John says, "No, I'm serious, I mean it."  He calls out that it is an illusion. A green light hits and the vines and old-ness of the Pod vanish, leaving the Pod by itself, fresh and new. John says, "Yeah, this planet's for real all right but everything on it, everything you hear, see, and touch is imaginary and it's only real if you allow yourself to be fooled."  Don asks, "Do you think that Will and Dr. Smith were fooled?"  John answers, "Yes or they'd be here, now we've got to find them before the illusions become so real for them--they won't know the difference."  They move out and this whole scene is played out among THE DERELICT comet music.

 

Will, Robot, and Smith find the Pod in the forest. Robot tells Smith that there probably is no mother ship. Will doubts there was any team either. Smith asks if he doubts the evidence of his own senses. Will doubts the evidence of something other than his senses. Will stands firm...he will not launch the Space Pod. Smith will go alone but Will tells him its a trick. Smith says, "To thy known self be true."  He will deny everything and send back a rescue ship, "Adu, little friend," he says, sadly. To the Robot he yells, "You take care of him or you'll answer to me for it!"  Will and Robot will not help Smith fly the Pod up. If he goes up into space he will never get anywhere. Will puts his hand on Smith's shoulder, trying to convince once again, "Don't you see they got you on their side by telling you that silly story about your reputation and then they tried to win the Robot over by letting him see his statue, and they tried to get me by showing me someone who looked like Judy except I don't believe it, Dr. Smith, we gotta find out who's doing this to us and why!"  The team calls down, "We are waiting."  Will tells Smith, "Well, let em wait."  Smith sits on the Pod door as Will and Robot move out into the woods.

 

Will tells Robot now he is not so sure this jungle is imaginary. Robot tells him, "Be sure, Will Robinson, be sure."  A high frequency beam attack by an alien force hits the Robot, who tells Will, who wanted to turn back, "Offense is the best defense, Will Robinson."  They go on and Will sees a roaring cougar on a mountainside. Robot gets hit again by the force and as he is jolted, his claw seems to absently swing and hit Will's face or nearly does. Robot is disoriented, "I...I don't know who I am. Who are you?" Will tells him to wait here and goes on. He keeps saying, "I don't believe it," when faced with a new challenge. The cougar vanishes.

 

In the rocky area, Don comments that it seems less and less like a rain forest and more like good old Death Valley. John tells him there are some illusions there, too. A windstorm hits them hard. They are held back. John is asked by Don if it is an illusion. John says, "Maybe. Even though it seems to be holding us back, keep going!"  Don can't find him but John grabs his arm. As soon as they keep moving, the wind stops. Don says, "You were right, something's dead set on getting us to turn back."  John says, "Which I have no intention of doing."

 

Will is startled by a giant lizard dino (stock footage). He says, "I don't believe it," and the monster giant vanishes. Rock monsters, one purple, one red, appear from thin air, growling (the original Cyclops sound effect not used in THERE WERE GIANTS IN THE EARTH or this episode for the cyclops but used for these rock men monsters). He comes to bushes which open at the middle revealing a large machine with an eye stalk and large mechanical eye. Will talks to it, telling it that he would be a fool not to be afraid but only when there are things real enough to be afraid of. To it, all intruders are harmful. They must be so deluded by their own fear that they will depart quickly. The machine tells Will it has not been programmed to destroy, adding the word, "...unfortunately."  Over the centuries since it has been abandoned here, it has acquired the power to create illusions. Even though Will tries to tell it that they are not harmful and will leave soon, it does not listen. Will tells it that the illusions only fooled him at first but not any more. The thing emits a sound and a light comes over it. A blue spiked man-thing monster appears, spikes all over it's entire body, head to toe. Will turns to run but a fire springs up on the other side of him! We hear BLAST OFF quake music, used effectively here. The machine tells Will he is afraid and will be destroyed by his own fears. Will yells, "You're not real, you're not!"  Robot comes, "He IS real, Will Robinson!"  The machine orders, "Seize them!"  Robot blasts the spiked man and the machine into sparking bits and both vanish as if blasting off or being blasted away. Robot tells Will the machine used up the last of its power making reality but its reality was no match for their

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

s. John and Don arrive and find the two. They will all go and pick up Dr. Smith.             

 

"Dr. Smith achieves strange Samson-like strength when future hippies terrorize the Space Family Robinson!"

 

A hippy alien says, "This whole planet is gonna go phew."  A hippy girl touches Don's face, "Why don't you try to be nice?"  Don pushes her hand, "Cut it out!"  The hippy male comes up to him, "You be nice when she talks to you, little master cause you can be hurt very bad."  A muscled, curly haired Dr. Smith says in a deep masculine voice, "Stand aside."  He picks up the Robot by his bubble stalk and moves him with one hand. "Forward march!"  The hippy tells John, "This planet must be destroyed quickly and efficiently!"  John says, "Why that's murder. I won't let you get away with it!"  They fight. There are blasts. Will and the Robot run out of a cave as Smith urges them to run. Smith runs. Poles fall as the cave caves in!     

 

"COLLISION OF PLANETS on LOST IN SPACE on this channel!"

 

REVIEW: Even John Peel liked this episode but he made a big mistake by telling us that the rock monsters were from THE ASTRAL TRAVELLER---hey, John, they weren't! They might have been from CAVE OF THE WIZARDS or even VOYAGE's THE FOSSIL MEN. This episode is good. It must be the contender for the Most Insults From Smith to the Robot episode as he insults him in almost every scene, almost every other line! That aside, the strangeness of this episode, more often attributed to SPACE:1999 and the more weird STAR TREKs, makes this one a mystery. It is too bad the show couldn't keep this kind of actioner-mystery going. The third season was fairly good to start out with. Production order-wise, they don't bottom out until COLLISION OF PLANETS and then not until CASTLES IN SPACE, A DAY AT THE ZOO, and TWO WEEKS IN SPACE, all right in a terrible row. Along the way, we had the so-so somewhat silly THE HAUNTED LIGHTHOUSE, the great SPACE CREATURE and THE ANTI MATTER MAN, and a few more adventurous episodes--TARGET: EARTH, THE FLAMING PLANET, and TIME MERCHANT. More schlock with PRINCESS OF SPACE. Then the last few. The worst of this season though is A DAY AT THE ZOO and TWO WEEKS IN SPACE, not THE GREAT VEGETABLE REBELLION.